gah... roomate's alarm clock woke me up at 7:45 this morning and i was planning on sleeping 'til the fireworks at 11 woke me up...

spent like 10 minutes trying to figure out how to turn that thing off...
well at least i'm up and can post to this thing.

agh... was posting and then blogger logged me out...actually happened twice, but i got smart and copied and pasted...

i'm tired...so yeah bedtime soon

watching nfl preview...pretty exciting, plus the illini play at home this weekend, so a lotta football goin' down

agh, as per issues realizing from the sermon at lg that i fail to address some issues and ignore them and additionally my attempts to resolve issues are all selfishly motivated. gotta really think abou these things

also realizing that letting other people share their opinion while holding your own back is really difficult. i feel like denying myself the freedom to express myself is repressed...then i realize that interrupting and forcing my own opinion in the discussion is really a repressive move towards others. there's just so much to think about...

just a quote to think about, not even from a Christian source, but a deep thinker nonetheless...

"We tend to flatter ourselves, then criticize ourselves, without ever really getting acquainted with ourselves. We go hot and cold, we're on again, off again, in a stormy love-hate relationship with our own selves. When our hearts stray, and we do things we really don't really intend, say things we don't really mean, we cover it up and we lie to ourselves and we grow distant from... our own damn selves"

-Tatsuya Ishida

so tired... i dunno why...

anyways, i get to go to IK with small group... exciting stuff
plus we're hanging out after large group

all my classes are going okay and stuff at home is good

got some advice in trying to relate to others better... something that i've forgotten how to do, simply listen

it's strange really, it used to be the case that i never had anything good to say. there came a point in my life where i realized i needed to express myself properly. i vowed that people would get to know the real me, that the real me would have a voice, a clear voice, one that would speak and be meaningful...

that very drive has caused be to be a little more focused on myself and feeling that my opinions are the only ones that matter...do i have another thing coming...maybe i need to simply listen and hold my thoughts to myself...

well i went back to expo (reason for resumes on previous post) armed with good copies from jimmy's printer. thanks a bunch jimmy!

in more important news i've come to realize i really am pretty hasty in many of my actions. i am always quick to act in the most self centered way. often recognizing it, but only joking about it, not even strong enough to do anything about it. my air of seriousness in these spiritual matters is seriously only confined to detection, no sign of prevention or treatment to terrible attitudes of my heart

for those of you that i've offended i sincerely apologize. i seem to have this sense of arrogance where i think i'm never wrong. often i can really convince myself of that. because of this very attitude i always distance myself from the real truth as well as ignore the much more pressing issue of other people's feelings.

maybe i need to understand what it really means to be sorry
maybe i need to just be quiet sometimes and be comfortable with admiting my guilt and wrong
maybe i need to simply grow...

many things happened today... or yesterday... depending on how you look at it....

handed out resumes only to realize there was a mistake on it... ugh... 20 copies of wrong resumes....

realized that blogging should be benificial to others, not just me...

oh and discovered short comings of ring tones....ugh...

enough of this, i need sleep...

hmm... my second post.... what can i say?
posts will be generally informal and follow a format closer to a stream of consciousness...
...additionally many spelling mistakes will most likely show up as well...

anyways... good news this morning.... we have hot water!!!!
ah... this was an occasion not to be missed as i patiently waited for a corner shower to open up. after my last incident with a regular shower, i was not willing to let this opprotunity get spoiled by the sharp edge of the built-in soapdish. you see... i'm a fairly tall guy with even longer arms than i can deal with... so i cracked open my elbow while turning around the shower and even got cut by the metal edge of the soapdish... i still have a scab from that incident...

so this momentous day is the first day since saturday that we've had hot water... wow that's like 3 plus days...

on a different note the power is back on... for how long though... no one knows...

ah... the internet is working really well this morning... again, for how long though... no one knows...

well, it's back to the third world country for me...

Here's to my first post...
... ok, i'm done... well not really.... i'm just playing around with what i can do on this page...
how abstract i can be...
how needlessly pointless my rants can become...
oh if there was ever a time to be fearing for your life... this is it...

so funny stuff will happen from time to time and especially when i need to let off a little steam you'll see some posts...
even talked with other people on the subject of how to vent on blogs... eh... we'll see if that happens...

Just testing this link